Well because Hilary already posted the events I won't give you a run down of the night again. However, I will tell you a few of my own thoughts on the evening.
I felt pretty good going in. The lesson was planned, we'd written a nice little role-play for the teens and we'd even had a theme for the summer planned out. Unfortunately as Hilary pointed out, not much went right. I feel less than adequate lately. My lesson seemed to fall flat, and I realize that was partly due to very little prep time.
Originally we had intended to use a lesson that I'd prepared for one of my classes last semester, but I found it was totally non existent tuesday morning, meaning we had to pull tonight together entirely in two days.
But I also feel like I'm not the same person I was when God called me to be a youth pastor. I still have a great heart for teens, but now that I'm actually here doing ministry, I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and thinking God must've made a mistake. I know that isn't true but it's how I feel. I also know that this is all probably due to the fact that I've had less than 2 weeks of ministry experience, but still I'm feeling like a failure. Your prayers are greatly appreciated because I'm not the best self motivated starter and I often procrastinate until the last possible minute, and as I'm discovering.....pastors do not work just one day a week!
I hope the teens will have fun this summer, but I know that will probably happen whether or not I try very hard, and so my real goal is to help them gain a better understanding of just how much God loves them. I also hope I can help them foster a greater love for God within themselves, but I feel like I'm just going to let them down.
I'm very discouraged about tonight, but I hope it will fuel me to be better throughout the course of the summer. Rome wasn't built in a day...or so they say.
Dan
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Hiya Dan =)
ReplyDeleteSounds abit how I felt when I stepped into worship ministry... dear God, what the Hell happened! You've got to be crazy, I'm not ready for this... I play world of warcraft more than I study the bible! haha
Of course, there is no need to preach to a fellow pastoral guy, but, yeah... I guess feeling overwhelmed is the only truly realistic feeling we should ever have, and it also puts our reliance on God, which is kickin. Fast and Pray, Fast and Pray, blah.
Hugs and Kisses
xoxoxo Ren oxoxox
Dan - take some time for quiet self reflection for yourself, and ask God exactly where He wants you. He'll respond, make sure you're listening, OK?
ReplyDeleteAbout a year ago right now, I felt called to go back to a church I had attended 12 years prior, and I followed that urging to go there. It stopped the moment I arrived and I've been back there nearly a year now. I'm glad I listened. People from 12 years ago recognized and remembered me, including the pastor, and that spoke volumes to me. I felt I had "come home."
Youth work may or may not be your calling, perhaps smaller kids may be your calling. Just ask God, He is always awake, never takes a vacation and is there 24/7. :]
I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed, Dan. I can understand the feeling and I've been praying for you. The obvious response is what everyone else has said: trust God. Also, you have no reason to let your blunders get you down. They are just more oppurtunities to learn. Over the course of time I've learned that where I thought God had let me down because I failed, he had actually been helping because that mistake was a valuable learning experience.
ReplyDelete"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" 1 Timothy 4:12
ReplyDeleteGod has called you - you have answered. Rely on Him, pray for direction, listen to His answers. He will see you through! You are in my prayers always.
Mom